I want to be honest, this felt frightening and there were days recently where I caught myself thinking:
“Am I becoming seriously unwell?
Is something wrong with me?
Do I need help beyond what I can hold alone?”
Little sensations in my body, tingling all over, rushes of heat, pressure on the chest, a wave of dizziness, extreme tiredness and suddenly my mind raced faster than my breath. When you are someone who is used to self-trust, self-regulation, resilience, experiencing physical uncertainty can shake you to your core.
That is vulnerability, humanity, and it terrified me for a moment. So I chose to listen instead of push it away, I chose to listen, I chose to pause and I chose to believe my body was not betraying me,
but guiding me.
I went into ceremony and went on a shamanic journey not to escape reality, but to meet it, and what I found surprised me. My crown chakra, the place where clarity and connection usually pours in,
was not just dim, it was tangled, tired, over-stimulated, almost begging to rest.
My third eye, normally my clearest compass, was not blocked, it was buzzing, chaotic in the most human way, not from misalignment but from over-responsibility. I had been trying to hold everyone else’s path too and my soul saying: “Enough. Slow. Soften. Rest.”
I have been so tired, so I am letting myself rest and every day, I feel a little more like myself.
Love, Niobe x
